EDES104 - ASSESSMENT
Abbey Kelly
Introduction
My name is Abbey, I am a first year student at ACU Strathfield studying a degree in Primary Education. I started my degree in Primary and Secondary education and altered my path in my second semester.
My experience in teaching branches from my years of dance teaching at a small studio in country Camden, this sparks my interest to teach in rural primary schools in the future.
I've created this website to discuss
the impacts of technology on education systems
and our community. Some impacts are positive, however, some impacts are negative and should be addressed and resolved.
I also wanted to discuss the specific risks and benefits of technology on us as users in the digital environment and discuss how they impact ur education systems and students, and what schools are doing to prepare students.
Statement of Academic Honesty
I hereby declare all work posted and submitted is my own work, and all research gathered and provided has been appropriately referenced.
ABBEY KELLY
Feedback Critical Reflection 1
Feedback: Critical Reflection 1: Ella Jones
Stop:
The use of undermining words like ‘sometimes’ and ‘can’ etc as they take the credibility and firmness out of the arguments. Secondly, the introduction should begin with a statement about your reflection, then should introduce your topic, argument and experience. Another thing to acknowledge is the repetitive use of references, all four arguments appear twice.
Keep:
Distinct use of reliable resources with relevant references to reflection, as well as strong, effective research to adequately support arguments.
Start:
In-depth proof-reading, fixing the flow of sentences and making sure the tiers of Gibbs’ reflective cycle are evident throughout the reflection. An example of sentences to consider re-wording; “The energy required to train and run advanced AI models….are powered by non-renewable sources". This section for example could be simplified, shortened and made clearer by saying “Training and running advanced AI models require immense energy from non-renewable resources, this negates potential climate benefits”.
Feedback Critical Reflection 2
Feedback: Critical Reflection 2: Samantha King
Stop:
When constructing your re-write some additional points that could strengthen your reflection include; elaborating on the impact specifically on teachers in general, students are well discussed, however, more depth about the impacts on teachers would strengthen this argument. You’ve covered how technology in schools is becoming prominent, this could be expanded into how teachers can be positively and negatively get effected by this.
Keep:
Distinct features of your reflection include; addressing both the overall positives and negatives of technology within educational spaces, a strong sophisticated writing style with appropriate use of correct grammar and punctuation and strong arguments with relevant references.
Start:
Some considerations for your re-write could include; Including an APA7 style reference list to support your in-text citations and taking some concepts further in-depth like how teachers can determine the risks of digital tools and what specific online dangers and risks can impact students in a learning environment.
Re-Write
